Worse Case Scenario Breaking Dawn
by Sara811
Summary: Using the qoutes from SM's website, a series of one-shots using the qoutes in a situation that everyone will hope they won't be. A lot of general twilight crazy-ness.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This will be a series of one-shots using the quotes of the day from Breaking Dawn on Stephenie's site. It will kind of be like a worse case scenario of how the quotes could be used. The quotes will be in bold. I will be doing 5 quotes at a time to make it more interesting. Hope you like it.**

**Be prepared, this is a ****really**** long!**

**Disclaimer: I own Twilight (in my mind, which is not Stephenie's. so do I don't own Twilight********)**

**Edward POV:**

"Alice we are NOT having bachelor and baccalaureate parties!" I shouted. It was less hen 2 weeks till the wedding and I was tired of her incessant questions.

"Please Edward! If you're going to do a wedding you have to do it right." She pleaded. "**I'll play you for it. Rock, paper, scissors.**"

I sighed,

"**Why don't you just tell me who wins?**"

"**I do. Excellent.**" I rolled my eyes. Sometimes having a psychic sister is annoying, scratch that, having a psychic sister is annoying ALL the time. Her thoughts were a whirlwind of ideas of things we could do, who to invite, and where to go.

"But, you have to tell Bella and you have to keep all activities within the continental United States."

"Edward!" she whined. I had seen many thoughts of traveling to remote tropical islands and taking tours of Europe.

"Alice, remember, there's going to be humans there too."

She sighed again; me reminding her had ruined many of the plans.

"Fine you can tell Bella, and I'll keep the activities low-key."

I snorted with laughter. Alice? Low-key? The very idea was unimaginable.

I ran to Bella's house. It was 10:30 and I was coming back for the night. I climbed up the tree next to her house and deftly jumped through her open window.

"Hello again love."

"Hola prometido!" She said.

"Are you all right Bella?" I asked. I wondered if the impending wedding was affecting her sanity.

"Si! I just had a pot of coffee though! And some chocolate and some candy and some ice cream." I sighed. Bella obviously does not hold her caffeine and sugar very well.

"Why don't you go to bed early to night?"

"But I'm still wide awake! I'm not going to sleep ALL NIGHT. I have to practice you know. I'm going to be a vampire soon."

"Bella, be quiet you don't want Charlie to come up here do you?" I said even though I knew Charlie was fast asleep in the recliner in the living room with the TV blaring.

"I don't care! As long as I have you here, I'm the happiest person in the world!" She said. If caffeine affected her this much, I definitely did not want to see Bella drunk.

"Bella you should really go to sleep early tonight. I think Alice has a busy day planned out for us. I believe on the agenda is the final fitting of your dress, the tent is coming, and she wants you to make the final decisions on which centerpieces to use."

"But I don't want to go to sleep." She said like a little child.

I sighed; I couldn't resist her puppy dog eyes and pout.

"Fine, you can stay up all night if you wish." I could only hope that she would fall asleep soon.

"Yeah!" she squealed and gave me a tight hug. "We'll have so much fun! It will be just like as sleepover! We can play twister and have a dance off and prank call Carlisle and sneak out and tell secretes and play truth or dare and…"

"Okay Bella, I know what happens at sleepovers. I've seen enough bad chick flick movies for one lifetime if not two."

She nodded, and looked a little disappointed.

"Let's tell secretes first." I said hoping that if I went along with her plans it would make her happier. As soon as I said it, her face light up again.

"So did I ever tell you how much I LOVE oranges? They are the best! They are so sweet and yummy. When I lived in Arizona, we would get really, really good ones from California…"

By the end of the night when Bella finally fell asleep at 5:30 AM, I was beginning to wonder if it was actually Bella, or if Alice and her had switched places to annoy me. She spent an hour and a half talking just about oranges and how much she loved them. Then she made me run to the store and buy her 2 dozen oranges. When I got back she said she didn't like oranges any more!

Then she made me tell her a secrete. I said that I loved my car and piano almost as much as I loved her. And she said that she already knew that and that I wasn't good at this game. Then to determine what games I was good at she made me play every board game she could find. And she won every time! Than, we played cards and she one EVERY time. Finally she said the only game that I must be good at is truth or dare. So we played that for a while and she decided that I lost and I wasn't good at any games. How can you lose at truth or dare?

Then we prank called almost everyone who had a number in the Forks phone book. When she got tired of that she made me paint her toenails for her. Then she wanted to paint my toenails. I said no, and she started to cry. So now my toenails are painted fluorescent green and pink. After that she said she was going to go to bed now. So she got in bed turned off the lights and proceeded to talk with me for the next hour. I must have said something funny because she started to have a spastic laughing fit. She has giggling uncontrollably for 15 minutes strait. Every so often she would gasp for air and then resume laughing. Abruptly, she stopped and said

"I'm better now."

Then fell asleep. I was watching her sleep now and she was mumbling things like,

"Edward… twister… Edward…prank…loser…Edward….wedding…Edward…."

At 1:30 in the afternoon, Bella groggily woke up.

"Edward." She yawned. "What happened last night? I have a killer headache and all I can remember is that I really like oranges and you're a loser."

"You were on a caffeine and sugar high and had an overly cliché sleepover with me as your guest."

"God! Who let me have coffee again?"

"I think you did love."

"Ugh!" she groaned. She rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.

"No way Bella!" Alice said. When did she get here? She handed Bella a glass of water and some pills. "Here take these, go take a shower and you'll feel better when you come out."

"Alice I'm too tired. I just want to sleep."

"Bella, I have the wedding of the century to plan and it's yours and it's in a little more than a week! Now get up. Your dress is going to be at the house soon and I want to make sure it will fit perfectly."

"Are you a physic or not? Don't you all ready know if it will fit or not?"

"Yes, but I want to see it on you."

Bella sighed defeated and rolled out of bed. She grabbed the pills from Alice and took 3 of them. Then she slowly walked to the bathroom and took her shower. She came back looking refreshed and slightly less tired. We got in the car and went back to the house.

**Bella's POV:**

I was so tired that I could barely keep my eyes open. I kept drifting to sleep on the car ride to the Cullen's. Once I got there though I was wide awake. I had to be. There was so much going on that if I was sleeping I would get run into. There were crews of workers running all over the place carrying tables and chairs to the large tent that I assume had been set up earlier this morning. A delivery truck pulled in and when it opened the door inside the truck was bolts and bolts of midnight blue shimmery fabric. I had no clue what Alice could possibly need that much fabric for. It's so sad that I don't know half the details about my own wedding.

I walked into the house and was only greeted by more chaos. There were large floral center pieces set up on the dining table, people running to and fro. People with clipboards and earpieces that where obviously waiting to talk with Alice, or possibly me.

"Common Bella, your dress is upstairs in my room. Edward, you know the rules, you need to stay down here."

Edward rolled his eyes.

"I've already seen the dress plenty of times in your thoughts."

"But you haven't _actually_ seen it and you wont until your wedding day." She said as she whisked me up the stairs.

She set me down on the love seat in her walk-in-closet that was as big as my room. My dress was reserved a special spot in her closet and there here no other clothes within 2 feet of it. I was surprised that Alice had that much room to spare until I remembered that Alice was Alice and probably had another closet somewhere in the house that was even bigger.

"Bella, I want to see your dress on you."

I sighed; there was no point in arguing with her. I quickly changed in to the dress. I turned around and looked at my self in Alice's full length mirror. I had to admit, I looked absolutely beautiful in the dress. My sallow skin and dark bags around my eyes my me look almost like a vampire. My slightly damp hair hung limply around my face and threw the whole look off though. Alice must have noticed because before I could blink she was back with a clip to put my hair up. It made me look a little bit more like a bride. The truth hadn't really set in yet, that I was actually going to get married. But seeing myself in my wedding dress had made the truth come crashing down on me. I started to cry. Alice seeing the tears start to run down my face whisked the dress off of me with super human speed before any tears could reach the fabric.

Why hadn't I realized that it was coming so soon? In a little more than a week I would be married and would never see any of my human family again. Why hadn't I spent more time with Charlie? With Renee? Alice handed me my clothes back and I slowly got dressed, all the while tears were dripping off my face.

Edward came in and pulled me in to his ice cold embrace. I sobbed on his shoulder, soaking his shirt.

"What's wrong Love?"

"It's just I realized that I wasted time that I could have spent with Charlie. And that I won't see him again after the wedding." I continued to sob. Edward scooped me up bridal style and carried me down to the living room. He set me down n the couch with my head against his shoulder. Eventually, I stood up and wiped the tears off my face. Emmett came up to me and tried to give me a big bear hug.

"Emmett, touch me and I will personally destroy every video gaming system you own."

Emmett laughed and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug against my will.

"**Oooo, scary.**" He said sarcastically. Emmett Cullen messed with the wrong grizzly bear with to little hibernation today. As soon as Emmett let go of me, I was not at all feeling better, I was just feeling mad. I stormed off into the Cullen's game room.

"She wasn't kidding you know." I heard Edward say.

"Oh crap!" Emmett shouted and ran as fast as he could with humans around to the game room.

I looked at the extensive amount of game systems the Cullen's had. I looked around the room for something heavy. Yes! There was a large metal vase that would work perfectly. I picked it up by its neck and pulled out the first console.

Score! It was the X-box 360 that he had just gotten for Christmas. I brought the vase down hard and with a crunch the X-box was annihilated! I pulled out the next console, the PS3! I was bringing the vase down again but something caught it on the down swing. It was Emmett.

"Please Bella! I'm begging you please don't wreck the PS3! I will do anything for you! Please! Please!" he pleaded.

"Anything?" I asked. I had plans in mind.

"Anything! I haven't beaten the new Wall-E game!"

I burst out laughing,

"Isn't Wall-E for little kids?"

"Yeah." Emmett answered meekly. "But that doesn't mean I can't play it."

"Emmett I do believe that you are over 80 years old. Shouldn't you be over this by now?"

"I'm a kid at heart!" he retorted.

"Fine than, I order you to act like a little kid for the next three days."

"Okay Auntie Bella!" he said in an amusingly high-pitched voice. I couldn't help but giggle.

'You are not allowed to walk, you can only crawl. I f you do need to walk you can't go more than 5 steps without falling down. You can only baby talk and you must wear a diaper and suck on a pacifier for all three days."

"But Auntie Bella, where's my paci?" shoot, he was almost too good at this.

"I'll pick up everything you need at the store later today."

"Thank you Auntie Bella!" and then he crawled away. Something told me that his easy acceptation of his punishment meant he has going to retaliate later.

I went to the store later and felt a little awkward buying adult sized diapers, a pacifier, bibs, and a rattle. I didn't bother to explain to the cashier why I was buying these items, but the whole time he was giving me weird looks. I got back and gave the stuff to Emmett. He went to go change and when he came out he was wearing nothing but a diaper and a bib. I t was the funniest thing that I had ever seen. I burst out laughing and started rolling on the floor. He stuck a pacifier in his mouth and crawled away like nothing has the matter. Soon the rest of the house was in hysterics. Even the very business-like people with clipboards let a giggle escape their lips. Emmett took no notice of anything and just continued to crawl through the house. Eventually the laughter subsided. Edward found me again and gave me a light kiss.

"You are a genius! I can't believe you actually got him to do it."

"I can't either."

"Here come sit down there's something I need to tell you." I was a little worried. What could he need to tell me? "Jasper come here. I need you to keep Bella calm why I tell her this."

That just caused me to freak out more. What could he possibly need to tell me that would require Jasper assistance? I felt the waves of calm hit me and I almost immediately fell asleep.

"Jasper, can you lay off the calm waves just like a little bit so I'll be awake when Edward tells me."

"Sorry." I instantly felt relief.

"Bella, I might as well tell you flat out. Alice is planning bachelor and baccalaureate parties for the both of us."

I could instantly see why he wanted Jasper around.

"I told Alice I didn't want a baccalaureate party!"

"Sorry Love, I lost rock, paper, scissors to her."

"Is there any game you can win?"

"Actually I'm quite good at baseball."

"Well that just because you have superpowers. Anyways baseball is a weird sport."

"Explain please."

"Well first of all when a batter gets a _walk_, he _jogs_ to first base. Second, if you're not a good runner, but can bat well, you can have someone run the bases for you. Third, they play on grass and dirt, but if the ball gets dirty they get a new one! Fourth you have to get up and sing!"

"Okay Bella, I get your point, but baseball is a national pastime."

"Whatever, that doesn't make it not weird!"

"Bella I think that sentence is a double negative."

I growled at Edward. I was too tired to formulate my sentences clearly.

"Well I'm sorry! You're the one who kept me up all night!"

"No Bella, you were the one who decided to stay up all night."

"Well why didn't you try to make me go to sleep."

He sighed,

"I did."

"Oh! Sorry, I guess I'm just a little moody from lack of sleep."

"You can say that again!" Jasper shouted from the living room. I blushed, my emotions must be affecting him a lot. I could hear Emmett's booming laughter coming from upstairs, he must have heard this whole conversation. Then my cell phone started to ring. It was the annoying generic tone that came with the phone. Alice had set that strangely reflected the person's personality for all the people that called me often so it must be a wrong number. I picked it up anyways.

"Hello."

"Hi, is this Bella?"

Yeah, who is this?" I asked even though I had a sneaking suspicion because of the annoying voice at the other end.

"It's Mike, I just wanted to call you to tell you that I am going to propose to Jessica and I wanted to tell you first because I think that you've had feelings for me and I didn't want to upset you."

He was clearly out of the loop, all of Forks had known about Edward's engagement for months. I decided to play with him.

"**Oh, Mike! How will I go on?**" I said sarcastically. I heard elated whooping on the other line. I guess my voice wasn't dripping with enough sarcasm.

"Mike, I'm getting married to Edward in a week. We've been engaged for months. Where have you been?"

"Oh!"

"Oh! Is right!" I said icily. "Bye Mike."

I punched the end button. I turned around and found Edward on the floor in hysterics.

"What is so funny!"

"Mike…thought… you were….interested!"

"Yeah so funny!" I said. I rolled my eyes. From the sound of it the rest of the house was laughing too. I growled. The laughter stopped, well almost except for Emmett, of course.

"Emmett!" that shut him up.

There was a knock on the door then a second later a very beautiful blonde was standing next to Edward.

"**Ah, Edward, I've missed you." **It must be Tanya.

"Hello Tanya." Edward said with a cold edge to his voice. What was today? Attack of the unwanted crushes? First Mike, still lusting after me, now Tanya trying to allure Edward again? I glared at her.

"No worries, Bella is it?, I have given up trying to steal Edward's heart."

I still watched her closely though.

"So are the rest of your coven here?" I asked.

"Yes."

"I thought you weren't coming until 2 days before the wedding?"

"Alice called and she wanted us to come for your baccalaureate party."

I groaned. She just had to bring it up.

"When exactly is she planning to have this party?"

"Tonight."

I groaned again. I did not have time to mentally prepare myself for this!

"Who else did she invite!" I said to no one in particular. There was a gust of wind and Alice had appeared in the room.

"Tanya's coven, Rosalie, Esme, Angela, Jessica, and Renee."

"Renee?" I asked excitedly.

"Yeah she's meeting us in Seattle. I got her on a flight this morning."

I jumped up and down with excitement. Renee wasn't suppose to be here for another 2 days. Something came to me and I immediately I stopped.

"Alice, what are we doing, exactly?"

"Oh, you'll find out."

"Well, what are the boys doing for Edwards bachelor party?"

"I'm not telling you that either."

"Fine then, I'll go ask Jasper. He'll tell me!" I ran to the living room.

"**Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?**" He laughed. "Please tell me! No one else is."

"Don't worry about it." I felt a wave of calm sweep over me. Stupid empathic vampire!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: okay here's the second chapter. I decided to have them all have some sort of plot to them. At least this one and the first one will. **

**Disclaimer: as much as I wish I did, I unfortunately do not own Twilight. It all belongs to the all-powerful Stephenie Meyer.**

**Bella POV:**

I slowly opened my eyes. I was thankfully back at the Cullen's house. I think I had been traumatized for life by the bachelorette party that Alice threw for me. I stiffly sat up. Something tickled my arm and I reached over to find that my arms were covered in feathers.

"Why am I covered in feathers?" I yelled to no one in particular. Alice was in the room in an instant.

"It was Emmett's idea of a joke. You were passed out cold and he covered you in glue and then he and Jasper had a pillow fight over you. When a couple of the pillows broke, it effectively covered you in feathers."

I groaned; leave it to Emmett to think covering someone in feathers was a good idea for a prank.

"What time is it Alice?"

"Quarter to three. Two late nights in a row make you very tired."

I yawned. I had slept for almost 12 hours and I was still tired!

"What torture do you have planned to day?"

"Family bonding."

"What? I don't remember anything about that on the itinerary." Alice had planned out the week of the wedding months in advance. I was sure that family bonding wasn't in the schedule.

"Well since Renee came early and you're feeling guilty about not spending more time with her and Charlie, I decided that we are going to be doing some family bonding."

'What are you planning to do exactly?"

"We are playing baseball."

I stared at her. How were the Cullen's going to play baseball with humans around? When I had watched them the first time, it was all too obvious that they weren't normal.

"But Al-"

"Don't worry Bella; we'll keep our super powers in check."

Grr… It was so annoying when she answered your questions before you asked them!

"Now come downstairs, everyone's been dying to see you sleeping beauty."

There was even more chaos today than there was yesterday. People running to and fro, more people draping the midnight blue fabric that had arrived yester day on every possible surface, the smells of food cooking, obviously for the human guests, all of it was overwhelming.

"Bella!" everyone shouted when they saw me descending the stairs. Everyone was sitting on the couch and it looked like they had all been up for a while. I instantly became more aware of my crumpled pajamas and my greasy hair.

"Hey everyone!" I said tiredly.

I sat down next to Edward and rested my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes and was half asleep in seconds. Tanya must have thought I was entirely asleep, because she said to Edward,

"She's awfully plain, isn't she, even for a human."

"I wouldn't want her any other way." Edward replied forcefully.

Her comment hurt though and a silent tear or two escaped my eyes. I eventually drifted off to sleep again, but it was a troubled sleep and I didn't feel refreshed when Alice woke me up to say that I need to get dressed because we were going to leave for the baseball game. I meekly followed her up the stairs. Once I was in her room, I broke down into tears.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"Tanya…called me…plain! And now Edwards going to think I'm plain and…and, he's not going to…l-l-love me any more!"

"Oh silly! Edward will always love you! You're just having pre-wedding jitters!"She reassured me. "Anyways, **no one will dare call you plain when I'm through with you.**"

"**Only because there are afraid you'll suck their blood.**" **(A/N: I know that doesn't really fit there, but pretend Bella is tired and doesn't really know what she's saying?)**

Alice sighed and began to do my hair.

20 minutes later I looked like Baseball Barbie, Deluxe Edition. Alice had dressed me almost entirely in hot pink. I had my hair in a very high, curled pony tail, a hot pink base ball cap with rhinestones on it, a white baseball shirt with pink stripes and a large pink number 1 on back, pink baseball pants (I don't even want to know where she got those) and pink cleats.

"Alice, don't you think you went a little overboard on the pink?"

"Nonsense, Bella! A girl can never wear to much pink!"

I decided that my efforts where hopeless and that I would just accept Alice's outfit and not fight it. I was too tired to fight it any ways.

We arrived at the Forks Community Park. I guessed that the Cullen's in their charade of normalcy had decided to play on a real diamond. The rest of the family had already arrived. I was glad to see I was not the only one wearing Alice's get up. Everyone else was, except everyone had on a different color.

"Now that everyone is here, why don't we split up into teams and start?" Carlisle said.

"Bella and Edward are going to be captains. Bride versus groom!" Alice shouted.

"Fine I'm picking first!" I said. Jasper had ramped up the excitement and I was feeling a little more awake now. "I pick Emmett!"

Even without using his vampire strength, I knew he would still be able to hit the farthest out of any one.

"Jasper." Edward countered.

"Alice"

"Rosalie"

"Charlie"

"Phil"** (I know, he kind of came out of no where, he came on the same flight as Renee)**

"Renee"

"Carlisle"

"Esme"

"Hey no fair!" Jasper shouted. "Bella's team has one more player than we do."

"I'll just keep score."Esme suggested.

"You don't have to Esme, I'll do it." I said.

"No Bella, you should play. I'm used to keeping score for these hooligan's all the time." She motioned to her family as she said this.

I gulped; I had been hopping for a way to get out of playing.

We flipped a coin and Edward won, so my team was out in the field first. Emmett was pitching, Charlie on first, Renee on second, Alice was catcher and I was the third base (wo) man. The base men where going to have to double as outfielders too.

Rosalie was up to bat first. The Cullen's had to appear normal, so she hit a pop up that was easily caught be Charlie. Out 1!

Next up to bat was Carlisle, who hit a grounder that Emmett effortlessly scooped up and through to first base to get Carlisle, who was practically walking to first base given the normal speeds the Cullen's played at. Out 2!

Next was Edward. Emmett threw the pitch and it went whistling past Edward and smacked into Alice's glove. Strike one! Again Emmett pitched the ball, at speeds faster than your average MLB pitcher, no doubt. Strike two! I was wondering if Edward was doing this on purpose. Why would he let my team have the first inning without getting anyone on base? Emmett threw the pitch again. I could hear it whistling from my position on third base. Edward brought the bat around hard and I knew he was going to hit it this time.

"Crack!" The ball went flying and Edward was left standing at home plate with half a bat in his hands.

"**Oops.**" Edward said. Oops was right, he had broken a metal bat in half. Everyone ran up to Edward to look at the bat. It was broken off a few inches above the top of the grip. The metal shards on the broken end were bent at odd angles.

"Holy crap!" Phil said. "I've been playing baseball my whole life and I've never seen anyone do THAT!"

"Even I didn't for see that." Alice said. She meant literately and figuratively.

"Umm… there must have been a crack in it or something." Edward said nervously. He was obviously trying to cover up his display of super human strength.

"Did anyone see where the ball went?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's halfway across the state by now." Charlie said. He was probably right even though he was exaggerating.

"Would you have any interest in joining my team in Florida?" Phil asked.

"I'm already going to college in Alaska. So I'm sorry Phil."

"Well if you ever change your mind, just give me a ring; we'd love to have you. You could go major league!"

"Professional sports have never interested me much." Edward answered as polite as ever.

"Oh, well, just give me a call if you reevaluate your decision…" he mimed a phone. Edward just nodded and let it down. Edwards hit was counted as a homerun. The next person up to bat has phil. He got out, but I didn't realize it. Charlie yelled from the other side of the field,

"**Bells, we're up to bat.** You coming?"

"Yeah Charlie." I has dreading this part of the night the worst, I had never been very good at hitting. More often than not, the ball hit me, not the bat.

The rest of the game passed with out event. Around 8:30, we stopped because it was starting to get dark. Everyone went back to the Cullen house. Alice put in a movie and we all watched it. She left and came back with popsicles.

"Who wants popsicles?"

They were the cheap kind that are still really good that are basically flavored sugar water in a tube and then you freeze at home. I got a pink one. I took a bit. It was good, but what flavor was it? I couldn't tell if it was strawberry or watermelon, or just a random combinations of fruit juices. I decided just to call it the pink mystery flavor. Maybe it was just one of those things that you weren't suppose to know, like what flavor your mystery flavor dum-dum was. **(A/N: You can never tell with the mystery dum-dums because they mix two flavors together. Interesting fact of the day, courtesy of me.)**

Once the movie was over, Renee walked out to her rental car and then came back with a dog crate.

"What's this for mom?" I asked, thoroughly confused.

"I got a puppy!" she squealed and let the dog out of its cage. It was a small black Toto dog. It was really cute. Jasper upon seeing the dog, fled upstairs.

"Is something wrong with Jasper?"

"Oh he just is very allergic to dogs; I'll go check on him." Not to mention he wanted to drain the poor little puppy of its blood.

"Oh, okay then. I didn't know. If I had, I wouldn't have brought him!"

"It's no big deal Renee. I was going to clean tomorrow anyways so I'll just vacuum extra good in here."Esme said.

"I'm so sorry that you have to do the extra work!"

"It'll be fine Renee."

The dog obviously noticed that the Cullen's were a threat. He was staring at Emmett, mostly, and growling. Edward cautiously bent down and brought his face towards the dog's. When he noticed Edward, he instantly stopped growling and started to like Edward's face. Edward sat back on the couch. Obviously he was surprised by the dog taking such a sudden liking to him. The little puppy was relentless and jumped up onto Edward's lap and continued to like his face.

"Stop that Midnight!" Renee scolded.

Midnight stopped liking Edward's face and decided instead to curl up in his lap.

"**You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating**." Edward said. Everyone burst out laughing. Midnight stood up and looked around trying to find what all the commotion was about. When he couldn't figure it out, he just curled right back up in poor Edwards lap.

**A/N: Yeah this chapter isn't nearly as long as the last one! I hope you still liked it!**

**Please review! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey! What's up? Here it is chapter 3. Don't yell at me for not updating sooner. First of all I had to wait for 5 more quotes to be posted and second I was at my grandma's house on Thursday and Friday and she doesn't have a computer so therefore does not have internet.**

**Disclaimer: Ummm…. I'm running out of creative ones! I don't own Twilight it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

I woke up on the couch in the living room. I must have fallen asleep there last night. I yawned. I was still worn out from my sleepover and bachelorette party. Judging by the amount of light and commotion in the house, it was about 10 o'clock. I sat up and slowly stood up. I heard noises coming from the dining room.

"Ha Ha Rose! The crown is mine!" Tanya shouted.

"**Over my pile of ashes.**" Rose retorted.

I walked over to investigate. When I got to the dining room I saw Tanya and Rosalie wrestling on the floor and Renee and Emmett cheering them on.

"What is going on here?"

"Tanya and Rosalie are fighting over the crown. Whoever gets it will win. Common Rose!"

"The crown? What?" I looked at the table and saw what game they were playing. Pretty, Pretty Princess? Why in the world are 3 grown women and Emmett (who is 80 years but still acts like a 10 year old) playing that? Isn't it for little kids?

"Renee, why are you, Emmett, Tanya and Rosalie playing a game intended for ages 5-8?"

"**Alice wouldn't let us do anything else. Every time we tried, she all but ripped are heads off.**"

I sighed and went to go find Edward.

"Edward, what dire consequences will happen if Renee, Esme, Tanya, and Rosalie aren't playing Pretty, Pretty Princess?"

"Alice's thoughts are so scattered right now I can't tell. You'll have to ask her yourself."

It took me forever to hunt Alice down. I finally found her draping long pieces of the midnight blue shimmery fabric from the ceiling of the reception tent.

"Alice!" I called. She jumped down from the top of the ladder and landed perfectly on her feet like a cat.

"Bella, I don't have time. We have to have the wedding a day early and this fabric isn't going to drape itself!"

"What! Why is the wedding rescheduled?" I screamed. Oh God! I am turning into a bride-zilla! "You are not rescheduling my wedding!"

"Well do you WANT evil garden gnomes that live in talking trees and eat popsicles to come and crash it with their talking, flying, man-eating kittens?"

"WHAT THE HELL!" Just when I thought that there weren't any more mythical creatures, garden gnomes and their kittens?

"You heard me. Crazy garden gnomes are NOT going to wreck the wedding of the century!"

"Well what's our cover story? The human guests can't know about this! They'll think we're crazy!"

"Ummm… I don't know! Oooo! I see it. The caterer accidently double booked and we had to move the wedding date, that's what we'll tell everyone."

"Well, are we going to tell everyone else?"

"Yes, we're having a family meeting at 7:30. Renee and Phil are going out for dinner and no other humans will be around." Alice said. "Great, now I have to go call everyone."

I wandered back to the house and ran into Edward, literally. He caught me before I hit the ground.

"So love, what is the reason that Emmett, Renee, Tanya and Rosalie are playing Pretty, Pretty Princess"

"I never got around to asking Alice that, there were some pressing concerns that we needed to discus."

"I know." He said as he tapped his head. "I heard, both the conversation and Alice's thoughts."

"Oh Edward! I really AM a danger magnet. Everything for the wedding was going to be perfect and n-now… it is… all… r-r-ruined!" about half way through, I started sobbing.

"It's okay love."Edward said soothingly. He was rubbing small circles on my back. My tears had already soaked his shirt. "It will still be perfect. Alice wouldn't let it be any other way. Anyways, the important thing is that at the end we're married."

My tears slowed.

"You're right Edward, as long as we end up married, the evil garden gnomes and their man-eating kittens can take over the world for all I care. We can go live on the moon. I won't need oxygen by then. We'd have to take a lot of 'food' with us but that would be no big deal."

Edward laughed at my suggestion. It did sound pretty ridiculous now. Just then, Emmett tip-toed into the room.

"What did you do now Emmett?" I asked

"**You look so guilty - like you've committed a crime.**" Edward said.

"Don't tell Rose, but I hid the Pretty, Pretty Princess crown so that she can't win! Only I can now!" Emmett whispered with a huge goofy grin on his face.

Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"Emmett! That's cheating!" I said.

"So?"

"So, cheating's not nice. You have to give everyone a fair chance." Gosh, I felt like a kindergarten teacher!

"But Rose won every time today! She's the one who's cheating!"

"If you to can't work it out, you are going to have to both sit in time out." Hmm... maybe I should get a degree in conflict resolution. I am pretty good at this.

"Okay Auntie Bella." He said mockingly. I guess since I was acting like his Aunt I deserved it, but his punishment was over yesterday.

"Emmett." I said warningly. He just shrugged and walked off. Obviously he did not remember that I am capable of destroying game systems quite thoroughly.

Before I knew it, it was 7:30 and time for our meeting. All of the Cullen's and Tanya's coven sat around the large dining room table.

"Alice, what is this important matter that you need to bring up?" Carlisle asked.

"Evil Garden gnomes and their minions, the talking, flying, man-eating kittens were going to crash Bella's wedding. So we're going to have to move it a day ahead, but they'll still come the next day. Oh wait, they're changing their minds, they're coming tomorrow!?" Alice shouted. "Crap! This will ruin all my plans! Ugh! Why did they have to come now! Why couldn't wait until later?"

"Well then we need a plan of action." Jasper said. Clearly, he was enjoying the opportunity to play military commander.

"No, we can't defeat them alone. There are too many of them!"

"Should we call the wolves again?" Emmett asked.

"I guess so; all my visions are starting to go black. There is only one scenario in which we win against them and the circumstances are so coincidental that the chances are one in a billion that it will happen."

"Edward do we still have the pack's number?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes." Edward answered. He whipped out his cell phone. He dialed a number at lighting speed and held the phone to his ear. Some one answered on the other end.

**Edward's POV:**

"Hello?" the voice on the other end asked. I recognized it as Sam.

"Sam, its Edward. We need the pack's help."

"What do you filthy blood suckers want now? We already helped you earlier this summer. What more do you want form us." He growled.

I explained about the gnomes. I added details from Alice's visions. They would wreck havoc in Forks and La Push. It wouldn't be in anyone's best interest to not fight them off.

"**This is not something that our treaty anticipated. This is a danger to every human in the area.**"

"Exactly. This is why we need your pack's help. Will you give it?"

"Yes, we don't want these things around either."

"Thank You. Goodbye."

"Bye."

"Okay then, they'll help."

"Good." Jasper said. "Alice, can you give me a synopsis of their nature and characteristics."

"Well they are about 2 and a half feet high, but strong for their size. They live in talking trees in the center of forests. They eat popsicles and toast. As far as skills, they have some sort of magic abilities; different colors of popsicles give them certain powers. Whatever flavor popsicle they eat, they can conjure up that sort of fruit."

"Great!" Emmett muttered. "This is just going to be one giant food fight and I can't eat any of it!"

"Whatever Emmett! Anyways, the pink ones are poisonous to them though. Something about that they can't figure out what the flavor is." Alice continued.

"Neither can I."Bella said under her breath.

"What about their kittens?" Jasper questioned.

"They are not very big, but absolutely viscous. Apparently, the kittens are completely loyal to the gnomes, fly, and talk. They are also man-eating. The only way to defeat them is to distract them with a string of all things."

"Olay then here's our battle plan." Japer said.

After about an hour of boring military talk between Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle with Alice supplying whether or not various plans would work, my eyes started to droop.

"How about you go to bed now Bella?" Edward asked.

"Yes I'm exhausted."

He swept me up in his arms and carried me to his bed. He gently laid me down and pulled the comforter over me.

"Goodnight Love." He said as he kissed my forehead gently.

_I was walking down the aisle in my wedding dress. I couldn't see the end of the aisle for some reason. I got closer and closer, but still nothing. I strained my eyes, I wanted to see Edwards face, but it was like he was shrouded in fog. I finally reached the archway. The priest started the ceremony. Edward should be standing there. I looked I couldn't see anything. Where was Edward?_

"_Bella." A gruff voice said. I looked all over but I couldn't find where the voice came from._

"_Down here" the voice said again. I looked down. There was a garden gnome dressed in a tux holding a fishing pole with a fish hanging from the end. A small cat with bright white sharp fang-like teeth sat on his shoulder. "The priest asked you if you take me to be your lawfully wedded husband."_

"_I don't" I screamed. "I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't…"_

"Bella! Bella!" I herd Edward yell. "Are you all right?"

"It was just a bad dream, just a bad dream."

"What was it about?"

"I dreamed that I was marrying one of the gnomes not you."

"**Do you want me to sing to you?" **I nodded.** "I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away."**

"I love you Edward." I murmured.

The last thing I saw before I fell asleep was his beautiful smile.

**A/N: Okay so if anyone hasn't played Pretty, Pretty Princess before and was absolutely clueless as to why the crown was so important, here's a brief explanation. In Pretty, Pretty Princess, there are four colors of jewelry. Each person chooses a color and then moves their pawn around the board to get jewelry. To win you need to get all of your jewelry and the crown. **

**Anyways, I also think I need to explain about popsicle eating, talking tree living, garden gnomes and their evil man-eating, flying, talking kittens. Basically it resulted of a PM conversation with .xox.heart. and me being on a sugar high from popsicles. Yeah, I know what you must be thinking right now. Anyways, go check out .xox.heart.'s story, Werewolves and Vampires and Pixies? Oh my! It's really good! **

**I want to add that because I will be computer-less almost all week next week, the next update will probably not be until Saturday. Sorry! :(**

**Also if you read, PLEASE REVIEW!!**

**I apologize for this really long author's note!**


	4. Author's Note

**A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry I disappeared for almost a month. I was computer-less and therefore couldn't update. **

**I don't think that I will be continuing this story for two reasons. One, Breaking Dawn has already come out and two, I have run out of inspiration for this story. If people really want me to continue, I will but I can't make any promises. **

**Sorry!**

**Thanks to everyone who read this story!**


End file.
